I just cried my eyes out

I am a wimp. I cant do it. I have tried and tried. I am ususally a tuff girl and very proud of it. I have taken on people that are twice my size. I have chased down cars that have cut in front of me and the occupants have flipped me off. I have fought off cancer and won. I just cant for the life of me kick this kid out. He is working today. Finally...thats what I wanted him to do. I dont mind helping family , friends, adult children as long as they are helping themselves. Not sitting around playing with the Playstation or playing basketball. He is suppose to be packing and going somewhere today. Anywhere but here. Well I called him and asked what the plan was? He has none.. he thought he would sleep in his car. My ex husband cant move him with him because he has a new girlfriend and I guess in that mans book sex comes before kids and responsibilty. My husband W is just cut and dry about the whole thing. When we were in this situation with his daughter she had several places to turn to ..her mother, her grandmother, her aunt, her boyfriend. She chose this guy over us and at times even herself. Not my G...he has me and thats it. No family here in Hawaii. I dont wish what I am feeling today on anyone. I have a paper due tonight and I just better get my butt on top of that. I feel stomach sick, my head hurts and my eyes are swollen. I tried to put makeup on but now it looks like swollen bee stung eyelids with make up on. Not very pretty. I just want him to get his act together. Basically he is a good kid. No drugs. No drinking. Just when its coming down to taking care of himself and responsibilty of money and a job ..he fails miserabley. If I could run today I would. I can forgive many things in my life but laziness is not one of them.