Oct 20th ...Well it started as a good day...

and it went all downhill. I went to the doctors today and found out I only have a degenerative menicus thing going on with the other knee. Its not due to the fall at work. He cant do anything about it now. Shit ..I thought I could be out of work until we moved and now I have to back. So I finageled it to be December 1st ..so now I have a little bit more time. At least I will be home here on Thanksgiving. I am off Christmas Eve and Day and New Years eve and day so I dont have to do this crime bullshit. I hate how people just are shitty to each other and harm each other. It sucks. Anyhow then I find out my oldest son who is leaving to the army is possible leaving due to financial shit he has been creating. In other words trying to hide out. Of course I talked to him but I didnt want to get into in because I would get nothing but bull. I am so done with adult children. Do they ever grow up? I love my son but not the stuff he does. I hope now the military makes him grow up. Its obvious I couldnt. Now I understand why my ex husband just doesnt bother. Sometimes kids do things that hurt but in the end they hurt themselves much more. This thing with Walt ex and his son has taken a life of its own these past few days. Everyone on the outside gets dragged into this bullshit. I have lived this way for 10 years and am soooo tired. I am going to be 45 next week and it just doesnt get better. I sometimes feel like I am going to explode. Well there goes my trip to California next month. Now I have to go back to work..it just doesnt seem important enough. I need happy things around me. I need some friendly time. I am just plain tired from all the crap. I go to find out about my headaches in the morning. I hope that is all good.