Stale as in molded bread

Well today I had to run the youngest to the doctor. He was coughing yesterday and couldn't stop and had a fever. Doctor said he has bronchitis. I am so done with doctors for the next couple of weeks. If anyone get sick between now and Xmas I will just scream. I called my old friend J and talked to her for about 3 hours tonight. We have known each other since jr high school. I was in her wedding and she has seen me through so many boyfriends and even one we fought over in jr. High school. She knows me better than anyone... I would even say my husband too. I am glad I have a girlfriend I can trust and confide in and she can too. She gave me some good advice tonight and she just wants to see me be totally happy. I want the same for her. She is going through a separation with her husband she has been with for 27 years. I just wished she lived closer. Then maybe thats a good thing because I probably wouldnt be home much and we would be acting like high school girls again. W is going to the Big Island next week which will leave me at home with the kids. I used to feel lonely when he went up but now I feel good because I like being away from him. I feel at ease by myself. Things aren't as great as they could be but then there is always something in our life. If its not some kid crap then its his job or my job. I soooo hate it when he comes home and starts talking about stuff that happened at work. I guess its because I am away from there right now and I am truly enjoying it. No police b.s and trust me there is a lot. I wish he would take more care in dealing with me and taking care of his dog. Somehow it is slowly becoming my responsiblity to walk him , feed him . I didnt want the dog and if he wasnt so non people friendly I wouldnt mind, but he is downright vicious when it comes to other people. There cant be anyone by us or he will try to attack and bark like hell. I dont know why he is like that ..we never mistreated him. He is a rottwieler. My husband likes him like that because he is a good guard dog and he isnt that way with the kids or people we know..just stangers. Anyhow W need to take more responsiblity in things here. Oh yeah he washes the cars, he will even clean the house and do laundry but then it ends. We do nothing together. We are still young and we do nothing but sit in front of that t.v. If there is something I want to watch and am interested in he will go to the other t.v in the bedroom. The only things we do on his day off is go to Walmart or the Mall or the doctors. Lately this has so reminded me of my first marriage and that didnt work out. Lately is reminds me of an old old couple. I have tried talking to him but then when he doesnt want to deal with it he raises his voice and then we start yelling and nothing gets resolved. We then dont talk to each other for a couple of days and then he will come and apoligize and then everything will go back into be as crappy as it was to begin with. I dont know ...is it me or what? I thought I was going through early menopause but my doctor said no. So I guess thats how it is. He is 4 yrs younger than me but acts like an old man already. I want to have fun for a change. My husband used to like to have fun but I dont know what happened to him. I dont know what happened to us. We have been to counseling and that seemed to help but everyday we seem to get farther and farther apart. Funny if you asked him ..he would probaly say everything is okay. I think we are just settled and predictable. I hate that because deep down I am miserable. I love the stability but there is no spontanaity. None at all. The word that keeps coming to mind is STALE. Thats what I feel like this marriage is becoming fast ...STALE.