What a friggen night...no what a friggen day..no wait what a friggen life....

Anyhow all I have been doing is playing fucken referree all day with the three kids. It has been non stop. I am so tired of it. I go and pick up my son because his asshole dad had to go to a football game so he couldnt come all the way back here. So I get into my car with one sick kid and drive like 30 miles to pick him up. Then all the kids decide to try and play with this stupid hot wheels toy thing my husband got W III for his birthday. The thing is suppose to oooze this red stuff like lava. Waste of money. Anyhow all they have been doing is arguing. I have to get up like 6 times from a nap I decided to take to yell. Man my neighbors must think I am a bitch. Anyhow so then I figure I will order some pizza. I tell the pizza guys I will go and pick it up. BIG MISTAKE. I get caught in the middle of a night time parade. It took me 1 hour to get home where it would usually take me like 10 minutes. Then the kids are whining as to why they didnt get to go to the parade. Becaue you were little turds today that is why. Where does it say that on weekends when there is no school I need to be the entertainment police? I used to stay home on weekends all the time when I was kid and had fun too. Not my kids. They want to go bowling or shopping or movies or out to eat. Today we did none of that and I paid the price. I am just soooo angry today. I should take a seditive or something. Then my husband calls after I went off on him this morning for crap...just like nothing ever happened. He is sooo good at that. I have been really thinking about a lot of stuff lately and I am not so sure if our marriage will work anymore. I seem to be the cleaner, cooker, dog walker, the parent, the grocery shopper, and now that it is christmas ..the decorator, the shopper, the wrapper oh yeah and the baker. One thing we are not is being together in that wife and husband way. I sometimes say more than I need to but I need to get it out and out it comes. We talked , I have cried, I have threatened, I have done many things for him to notice but he doesnt. He leaves for his interview next week and if nothing changes by then I will leave. I dont care if its the holidays. I will leave. It just hasnt been happy here for a long time and something has got to give. Not even a newly built house will keep me here. He just refuses to change. He wont tell me if there is someone else. He wont tell what is wrong. He just sits there. Well I am so worth so much more than that. Yes I am. We have been married in January for 9 years and been with each other for 11. I guess not everythign stays the same.