Times are a changing

Well my husband talked to the chief of police on the big island and he loved my husband. My husband is in. They said after he gets them a paper everything will be processed and then after that they will give him about 2 months to relocate. He is excited. So we were in that resturant last night ..you know the one where I saw the lady with the dyed jet black hair and black arched painted on eyebrows. Anyhow we went there after I picked him up from the airport. So he is talking and talking about the property, how cold it was up there at night ...48 degrees and so on and so on. So as he was talking that voice inside of me said "Just say want you need to".. it just came out of my mouth. "Well I hope you know you are going up there by yourself until I can get this knee thing settled and the kids are out of school in June". It got real quiet. More came out. " I hope you also know I am going back to school in a couple of weeks and nothing is stopping me from achieving my dreams". More quiet. Whew ... that little voice said "Good ...now it out there". Then he said well its going to be shitty without you guys up there. "Well you knew all this going in", said. "I wasnt moving until the house was done anyhow", I said. More quiet. Anyhow it hasn't hit him yet and I think he thinks he will change my mind. Nope not a chance in hell. The separation will do us all good. Okay it will do me good. I have been thinking nothing but all this the last few days. I am a doer...but thats all I am doing right now is doing and doing. I need time to start doing the things I enjoy. I need to enjoy this life again. It cant all be about kids and a husband. Somehow along the way I got lost and now I need to find myself. I have books that I want to read. I have quilts I want to sew. I want to take a class making stained glass. There is more to me than kids and a husband. I used to enjoy museums, cultural events,going to plays and having brunch on Sundays. Going for long drives. Going and learning new things. When I got married I got into the rut of saying "What ever you want". I no longer said where I wanted to eat because if he didnt like it , we didnt go. I no longer went to the movie I wanted to see because he would never be caught dead in a "Chick Flick". We dont go on long drive anymore because all he does is complain about the driver in front of us. Do you know how upsetting it is to hear nothing but swearing for 3 -4 hours in a car. Picnics or the beach ..forget it because it too dirty to mess up the car or there are bugs. Soccer or baseball games the kids play, he cant go unless he can be himself he says. Screaming and yelling at the kid. Yep things are a changing..they need to.