It was a long day

Boy what a day. I tried to call a doctor. My doctor..any doctor really and apparently they have all taken a holiday off. I dont feel bad enough to go to the ER but if the pain had gotten worse I would have . We shall see if I can see my doctor tomorrow. Anyhow this was the day we took the son back to airport so he could get on a plane and go back to Misery..sorry I meant Missouri. He had been gone for so much of his visit that I didnt think it would affect me all that much with him leaving again. Actually I was starting to get mad. He came in about 6:30 pm and was tired. Tired from partying these last 10 days. He slept here about a total of maybe 2-3 of those days here. Anyhow I started getting mad because half of the stuff we bought him for Christmas as far as clothing was left at his friends house who I know will never return it. I snapped at my son for being careless. I tried to make him understand about money not growing on trees and was getting really mad and starting to tell myself ..Screw it .. I'm not going to his graduation. Shit he is 20 ..when does he grow up? So we get to the airport and you'd think Jesus himself walked in. His friend who was on Christmas Exodus was there with his family and everyone was stareing. We went in line and they told these two to hand over their bags and tickets and they were checked in right away. They didnt even have to go through the TSA people. Everyone kept on stareing. So we talked and I realized that everyone stareing thought these two were going to Iraq. These two women in front of my son in line kept on looking at us as if they were tears in their eyes. Maybe they couldnt understand why I was'nt crying. Then my sons friend wife starting breaking down and had to say goodbye and leave with her three babies. I felt for the guy. He told me she only has him and is by herself. He told me she isnt going to graduation. He looked so sad. I felt for the guy. Then I started thinking what if something happened .. I dont know what but what if something happened to my son. No matter if he has asinine ways would I be good with it. In my heart I would not. So now now matter what I will be going to Missouri. To be there for him and his friend. Someone should be there. Then I broke down..watching him leave.. watching them leave. I tried to hold it in but the ugly cry came and the more I tried to hold it in ..the tears just flowed. My husband tried to make jokes on the way home. I just didn't feel like laughing. I miss my son already.