Monday Nov 21st The Talk

So over the weekend we went out and did some shopping and went out to eat. It was okay until my husband's friend who he has known from high school asked me what are my plans were as far as working is concerned when we move to the big island of Hawaii. I told him I plan on going back to school and you could hear a pin drop at our table in a crowded resturants. It was uncomfortable to say the least. We ate and then came home. I held my tongue that night. I woke up Sunday and I felt sulky. So many things started bothering me. The school thing, the taking for granted thing my husband seems to do, the stuff going on with Shaun, his family ,the trips that are always promised but never happen. I held it in all day hoping at least my son Giovanni would call from boot camp. He didnt. So by 11:30 I had to leave the house and take my other son Nick to his championship basketball game. All I was thinking the whole time was how I was going to miss my other sons call at home. I know I made it happen ..the feelings, but I just wanted something to make me feel good because I felt so out of sorts the night before. Now on top of everything else that damn Gingerbread Latte from Starbucks was kicking in and I needed to find a restroom quick. Oh great... feeling full of anxiety and an upset stomach to boot. So we go to game ..my son's team wins the championship by 1 point. He twisted his ankle again for the 3rd time this season and had to be pulled from the game in the last 5 minutes. His ankle swells up and we take him to the emergency room. No fracture but just a really bad sprain. He was made MVP so the sprain didnt hurt that much after that. Anyhow so I told myself after feeling the way I did I was going to bring up a few things to Walt when he comes home . Well he comes home and I swear nothing could come from my mouth. I kept on putting it off. Now if you know me that is not one of abilities ..to put things that need to be said off. But nevertheless I waited. We go to bed and now I get the courage to talk to him. WHAT A WIMP I AM. I tell him everything I have been feeling and surprise surprise ..he actually listened. He told me he didn't care if I wanted to go back to school but he did try at one point to tell me wait until after our house is built. I had to remind him that 5 years ago it was wait until Wally was in school. Well he is in 1st grade now. There were things we just needed to talk about without kids listening and both of us focusing and hearing each other. He did say we are going to Missouri for Giovannis graduation in January..so thats a start. So anyhow the talk is what was needed. And the anxiety? It just went away and felt like a load off my shoulders. I guess the not knowing what is going to happen is the worst part. What is that saying ...if you assume ..you make an ASS out of U and ME.